gas n' go

I went running this morning--It got nice and cool last night after the rain and I slept really well until about 4:15 and then for some unknown reason I was jackrabbit awake--this has been happening a lot lately.

So at 5 I finally gave up the ghost and got out of bed (where I had been laying obsessing over a fight I'm in with my friend Lai, who I was supposed to see this weekend). So I got up and called Lai --and she actually answered (I was hoping for voicemail)--and I told her I'm not sleeping much so I thought it would be better if I didn't go (there is also the fact that I can't afford it--but thats another argument) she was mostly asleep so that was pretty much the extent of the conversation.

I've had bouts of insomnia before, the worst being associated with stress: learning to drive a car, breaking up with my first boyfriend, living in England (haha. no, really). I'm not really sure what has triggered this one though, I think it may be job-related actually: see, I applied for a new job, nearer to my family that I would really really love to get, but I haven't told anyone here about it because I like this job--most days its great--and I don't want to throw some shadow over it by saying I am looking around for something else. I haven't heard anything one way or another about it, and I think the suspense is literally keeping me up at night.

The run this morning was good, though. In the past my most tride-and-true weapon against insomnia has been totally and completely physically exhausting myself. If I can do that then I can override the hampster wheel of thought and get some much needed REM.

It was still cool out, so I wore a long-sleeve tshirt, which proved to be unneccessary since the humidity was enough to make me sweat like a stuck pig after awhile. I went for a nice 3 miler, which has been the default distance lately. I really need to switch that up. I'm supposed to go again this afternoon with RC but the forecast is for more thundershowers, so we'll see.